teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

ragingconservative007:

freeplanetickettonorthkorea:

droffats-hsoj:

shlam-lekhon:

Nice

The cop is thinking “Da hell just happened?” 

Man that is some awesome pot… He’s gonna get so cooked later…

That cops gotta be thinking “oh shit it was an actual pot”.

Hi Sebastian has this phobia i guess you would call it of eating alone, he won’t eat unless someone is in the same room eating as him, i dont know why and we’ve taken him to the vet to see if it’s a stomach problem on why he wasn’t eating until we started to notice a pattern, only when you’re in the room eating will he start to chow down on his food. So we put his bowl on his side of the table and he eats Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner with us. He’ll wait till you’re seated and eating to start on his meal, it’s really sweet, though we still have no idea why he does it.

WHAT THATS THE CUTEST THING EVER OMG

(Source: sh4rki)

idiotsonfb:

somebody give these children a medal.

(Source: barbed)

omgitsbricey:

f-e-a-r—-n-o-t:

doctorcanon:

cmcross:

No, you don’t understand.

This actually happens.

We got a 16 year old boy on our unit once, because Pediatrics was full, and it’s about 1 in the morning and all the nurses are at the nurses station having a break and we’re  all talking and having a laugh and then all of a sudden this kids heart monitor just goes CRAZY.

So we call the code and I grab the crash cart and about 6 of us just take off running down the hall and we bust in the room and this kid is just sitting there with his hand around his junk looking MORTIFIED.

So we just sort of backed out of the room quietly, walked calmly to the stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown.

It was the funniest shit ever.

Omigod so many nurses have told me stories like these. 

DON’T JERK OFF IN THE HOSPITAL

(Source: textsfromwhedonverse)

(Source: jeezitskels)